Polytechnique: Also called “l’X”, this is the best of the best engineering school in France, where the most talented students in maths and physics come to undergo military training and play sports. No one really knows what’s the point of it, but it seems to work as they all work for a company of the CAC40 afterward.

Centrale-Supélec: The biggest engineering school in France, well-known for its boring, unnecessarily lengthy and pointless competitive exams and for its parties, especially the QuadraBang, one hell of a party for all the students on the plateau. It also has the most visited “museum” of the area, much less studious when you know that it is only the name of its bar.

ENSTA: At the far end of the Polytechnic campus is a hidden school. Its students live in strange-looking buildings and they try to let the world think they are Polytechniciens’ best friends but I’m not sure the latter even knows they exist.

ENSAE: Half business school, half engineering school, ENSAE is the perfect school if you want to do a boring job that will leave you a 30 year old millionaire and depressed. Course content includes throwing banknotes, how to wear a $30k outfit or which champagne to buy when you host a party with Bernard Arnault.

Télécom Paris: The second best engineering school in the country according to “l’Étudiant”, god knows how high they were when they wrote this, but it’ll be the first thing every Télecommien will tell you about their school. If you read this in 2025 or later, you might need to look up what the new name of the school is, but you can’t miss its outrageous orange block at the entrance to Palaiseau

Institut d’Optique: Also known as SupOptique, none of the students there had the slightest interest in the optical phenomena before entering the school, but everyone of them would tell you that it has been their passion for decades.

ENS Paris Saclay: A school for hippies who think studying 8 years to work an undervalued job in the name of science is a noble act. They are also known for taking the place of the Centraliens in the students residences in Gif, one wonders why these residences don’t like people who throw parties of 50 people in a 20 m2 apartment… Their RU (university restaurant) is reputed to be the best in town.

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